attitude adjustment

it was the fall of 2006. physically i could hardly walk a mile hardly mow the lawn, with out gasping and wishing i could crawl. i could hardly sleep yet i was tired all the time. i was trying zoloft for depression, it wasn’t affecting me and i was drinking a bit much. i would read paper back fiction to escape.

then after consulting a close relative i went to a counselor. a group that deals specifically with sexual abuse and addictions. for two or three months. i laid it all out to him the good bad and ugly. it was the first time i told someone absolutely everything that was strangling my mind.

also at this time i went to my physician. treatment for back pain. i have spurs on two lower vertebrates. so i started physical therapy for this.

by the time january rolled around 2007 i was feeling good. i could exercise. we joined a gym and started doing a lot of working out. this was like a new begining. by the fall i lost 30 pounds and i could walk vigorously for miles, lift a lot of weights even play racket ball.

the ability to confess had a lot to do with my own personal doubts about myself. getting in-shape and rediscovering how to exercise lifted my physical look and feeling and diminished continual back pain.

being over 50 helps a bit to . stuff doesn’t matter any more. what people do or say isn’t as devaluing. knowing Jesus helps too. i know the worth and basic purpose of my existence and am confident caring and content.

resolution

1. read bible and pray with the wife…i thought after 30 years it might be nice.

2. learn more ASL and become ..oh as good as jeannette.

3. not worry. oh right, now who believes that.

4. exercise continuation…progress in wieghts and flexability

5. be more available to others.

shooting star

at 4:oo a.m. we saw a star blast across the stary sky. delivering papers is reawakening our star gazing past.

greenhouse pests

fungus gnat larvea are everywhere it seems. all in the new cuttings and divisions of grasses. the plants over all look good but lifting a cutting up and useing a magnifying glass to view the base of the cuttings and to find a translucent small wigglies. small things eating major profits. so it’s drench time.

always looking and scouting for bugs and disease thats whatits about. i need to develope a better spray schedual. the main problem is my own desire and cold weather blaz

kwanzaa

i just read some info on this African celebration and the Seven Principles:Willing the Well -Being of the World

i do have questions about it. It is sad that assassination in Pakistan today. Its sad the Arab world has not a similar holiday or do they? with the same principles?

Kawanzaa seven principles:

UNITY, SELF-DETERMINATION, COLLECTIVE WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY (COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS,) PURPOSE, CREATIVITY, FAITH       

www.officialkawanzaawebsite.org

three red candle next to three red with one black in-between. would it be OK if i added one white next to the black to symbolize multi culture of the same values? or would that take away from what the original intent for the African community to be together? this comes so close to Christmas is this a response to a white santiclause or what some believe to be a white Jesus? I don’t picture Jesus white nor black but a native middle eastern look. I like the value system this Holiday has. It needs to be more in all of are faces as we live life. social, economic and faith responsibility………..aren’t we talking about our personal value system our world life views?

help me understand as a white person who wishes to live multicultural and ethnically.

my wife and i go to our black friends house around Martin Luther King day to watch civil-rights videos, or have a reading or Kings speech. we walk with our brother and sister in life.

week before christmas at the greenhouse

this Christmas will be the first i don’t walk the halls at night at the greenhouse, nor worry about the heat. its more of an attitudinal shift then anything else. i go to work to live not live to go to work. {ouch that just flys in the face of a movie we watched lat night “Noah dearborn’ simple life” where the enjoyment of work was a life pursuit that gave longevity and purpose.}

this Christmas we were dividing Miscanthus Morning Light  1000 clumps. i ordered a lot but am sure we will sell all.  this week we are planting tissue culture of Echinacea, taking cuttings of Coreopsis Moonbeam, root cuttings of stokesea.

its hard for people to grasp what i do. i work in a greenhouse that has nursery as part of its name Creekhill Nursery   so most people ask how the poinsettias are doing or do i spend a lot of time out doors landscaping. but that’s ok.

my attitudinal shift i,ll journal about latter.

but what i do at the greenhouse you’ll glimpse now. i walk to work when i can which is a mile and half. while my muscles are warm i go to an area that has a pipe that i can reach and do a couple sets of pull-ups.   with that done i walk through all the greenhouses 16 all together. i make sure i greet people with a grand loud  GOOD MORNING. that get the desired results of a big smile from all and hopefully a good feeling to be working here.

i circulate through the propagation houses first checking the mist settings and need of the tissue culture and cuttings under the mist lines. i speak to each of the four water-er about the day and field questions about growing….some are are not confident about watering so i spend the day answering and coaching.

the boss comes and has a few questions and comments. actually he does this all day.

i prepare move sheets ..we move plants around from propagation to holding houses, this is a very labor intensive business. and order new flats to be laid out. i look for bugs and diseases and spray for them usually after every one leaves.

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