it was the fall of 2006. physically i could hardly walk a mile hardly mow the lawn, with out gasping and wishing i could crawl. i could hardly sleep yet i was tired all the time. i was trying zoloft for depression, it wasn’t affecting me and i was drinking a bit much. i would read paper back fiction to escape.
then after consulting a close relative i went to a counselor. a group that deals specifically with sexual abuse and addictions. for two or three months. i laid it all out to him the good bad and ugly. it was the first time i told someone absolutely everything that was strangling my mind.
also at this time i went to my physician. treatment for back pain. i have spurs on two lower vertebrates. so i started physical therapy for this.
by the time january rolled around 2007 i was feeling good. i could exercise. we joined a gym and started doing a lot of working out. this was like a new begining. by the fall i lost 30 pounds and i could walk vigorously for miles, lift a lot of weights even play racket ball.
the ability to confess had a lot to do with my own personal doubts about myself. getting in-shape and rediscovering how to exercise lifted my physical look and feeling and diminished continual back pain.
being over 50 helps a bit to . stuff doesn’t matter any more. what people do or say isn’t as devaluing. knowing Jesus helps too. i know the worth and basic purpose of my existence and am confident caring and content.
